


Forgiveness

by luoup (ravenic)



Series: Team the Best Team [Platonic VLD Week 2.0] [12]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Platonic VLD Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:44:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenic/pseuds/luoup
Summary: Day 6 Prompt 2: ForgivenessHow to be forgiven





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> i got mixed-up and tired so pretend that s2 didn't happen and that matt is still in galra clutches at this point. 
> 
>  
> 
> mrgh. others have done this concept far better, but it's what i had in my head for the prompt Forgiveness so i went with it.

Shiro stared at nothing and tried to remember how to breathe.

He’d dreamed of this day for… for years now, he realized. It had taken far too long, but now that it was done he thought he just might be panicking.

They had found Matt Holt. A prisoner Keith had helped rescue had told Lance that she thought she recognized Pidge, and Lance had figured it out and told Pidge, and Pidge and Hunk hadn’t slept for three days and using the timing of the prison ship the alien had been with Matt for and something about coordinates and scheduling, they’d found him.

It had been a bigger prison camp, but Voltron had come down on it in full force and the Galra guards hadn’t stood a chance. And their luck had finally come through, and Matt hadn’t been transferred yet, and they’d found him.

Of course, things couldn’t be completely perfect, because when were they ever for this poor misfortunate group. Matt had been pretty sick and had had to go straight into a healing pod the moment he arrived at the castleship.

And so here was Shiro, faced with his greatest hope and realizing that maybe it was also his greatest fear as well. Because yes, Shiro had missed his closest friend desperately ever since they had been separated, had longed for a friend who didn’t look up to him as an all-but parent the way the other Paladins did, or bear down on him with expectations and responsibilities the way Allura and Coran did. He had been waiting for this day, but now that it arrived he remembered what else had happened.

_Fear. Shouting. “I want blood!” The feeling of that sickle-sword sinking into Matt’s knee. The confusion and terror in his brown eyes._

Shiro had wounded his best friend terribly. It had been to save his life, but Matt had looked to be practically on the edge of death when they had found him anyway, and Shiro hadn’t missed the awful scar on his leg or the way he’d limped during the few steps he’d been able to take.

The last time Shiro and Matt had been together, Shiro had almost killed him.

And now Matt was back. Rescued. It was good, it was wonderful. Pidge had cried for two hours and then passed right out, and Hunk had carried her back to her room to sleep it off. They had liberated a huge prison camp and rescued a family member of one of the Paladins, who was the best friend of another Paladin.

Shiro was shaking with relief, and shaking with terror. He didn’t know what he would do if Matt still blamed him for the injury he had inflicted the last time they’d been together. He didn’t know how Matt could ever forgive him. He was so scared of the moment when that pod opened up again, more than he’d ever been fighting in the arena or as Voltron. What would he say? What would Matt say? Could anything even be said? Would Matt even be able to look at Shiro? Did Shiro even want him to look at him?

Matt was the only person who would be on Shiro’s level, not pulling him up or down with needs and expectations. He didn’t fault any of the other inhabitants of the castle for any of it, but Matt would be different. Somehow, that scared Shiro. He was afraid that Matt would see how different he had become since before Kerberos, and what he would think of it. He wasn’t sure he could remember how to be a real person.

Shiro was terrified that Matt wouldn’t forgive him.

Shiro couldn’t imagine how Matt could ever forgive him.

Shiro wasn’t sure he deserved to be forgiven.

He sank down to sit in front of the healing pod, watching the form of his friend within and trying to remember how to breathe.

* * *

Matt healed. Matt came out of the pods. They hadn’t been able to do anything for his leg because it was an old injury (Shiro’s stomach had twisted at that, but it was obvious – his face hadn’t healed either, or his arm, when he’d gone into the pods), but overall he was much better now.

The reunion was joyful and tearful. Pidge was nearly incoherent, reunited with her brother at last. Shiro wasn’t much better. Matt had been overjoyed to see Shiro although shocked at how his appearance had changed, and baffled but adoring at the concept that his little sister had somehow followed him all the way out into space, and was now a Paladin of Voltron to boot.

Eventually the emotions came back under control and introductions were made. Shiro almost took the chance to excuse himself, afraid to be around Matt too long – what if he was making him uncomfortable? What if he didn’t want to be around the monster wearing his friend’s face, who had killed uncountable innocents in the arenas, who didn’t even look the same anymore – but at the first movement the older Holt grabbed him in a vise-like grip and didn’t seem to be willing to let go for love or money, so Shiro stayed.

The Talk was postponed until that evening, when the other Paladins finally fell asleep from excitement exhaustion and the Alteans retired for the night. Shiro was pretty sure that he was about ten times paler than usual, and he didn’t seem to be hiding the shaking as well as he’d thought, if the look on Matt’s face was anything to go by.

“Shiro,” Matt murmured, taking his living hand, “what happened to you?”

How does one even answer that question? Shiro opened his mouth, and no sound came out. He cleared his throat and winced at the cracking sound. “A… a lot. I… I don’t remember much of it, to be honest. But–” he hesitated, but he didn’t deserve to keep secrets from Matt. “I made it back to Earth. I escaped, and I got all the way to landing.

“The Garrison didn’t like that much.”

Matt laughed. “I’m sure they didn’t. That’s where you picked up Katie and all the others, right?” Shiro nodded. “I imagine they were pretty surprised by the whole, ‘aliens are an actual thing,’ weren’t they?”

He nodded again. How was Matt taking this so well? Shiro had _abandoned_ him, first at the arenas, and then in his escape. He had almost no memories of that particular event, but none of them included any attention to Matt or anything about him. From what he could recall, Shiro had been fully ready and willing to leave his friend to the Galra.

The self-revulsion finally overwhelmed him. “How can you do this?” he blurted, wincing at the surprise on Matt’s face. “How can you just… sit here and talk to me?”  
“Well,” Matt said, leaning back against the couch cushions but not releasing Shiro’s hand, “it has been a while. I imagine we’ve got a bit to catch up on.” He waved at the alien castle around them.

Shiro shook his head almost violently. “That’s just it! How can you even be near me? The last time we were together, I almost cut your leg off and screamed in your face. I permanently injured you! I… I didn’t protect you or your dad, and it took us almost two years to find you. I dragged Katie into this, and I’ve barely kept her safe too. You… you have no reason to want anything to do with me.”

Matt stared at him blankly. “Shiro,” he said, very very quietly. “Have you been thinking like that this whole time?”

Shiro was lost. “What?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“This whole… blame thing. Have you really spent two years thinking I hated you for what you did?”

Shiro’s heart was in his throat. He couldn’t speak, so he nodded weakly.

Matt’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment. “Oh man, Shiro,” he murmured. Then he did what Shiro thought he would never, ever do again. He hugged him.

“I never blamed you,” Matt murmured in Shiro’s ear. “Never ever ever. _You saved my life,_ Shiro! I would have died in the first fight, but you kept going for a year. You even managed to escape. And when you didn’t get to stay on Earth, you came right back to the fight. Nobody can keep Katie from doing anything she wants to do, you should know that, but when she came out here you stuck with her and I know that you did all you could to keep her safe. She’s still standing, isn’t she? She’s fine. You protected her too.”

“But I didn’t protect you,” Shiro mumbled.

Matt pressed closer. “Yes, you did. I know it’s hard for you to think of it like this, but with my leg messed up I was no use in the labor camps. I was kept in containment facilities or did light work, things that involved sorting and categorizing and stuff. Easy.” He almost smiled, Shiro could feel it against his shoulder. “Shiro, that hit probably saved my life.”

Shiro could barely breathe. This couldn’t be real. “So… you, do you–”

Matt let out a breath and pulled back just far enough to meet Shiro’s eyes. “Of course I forgive you, Takashi. Not that there’s anything that needs forgiving, but I do. I don’t blame you, and neither does Dad, or Katie. You did everything you could, Shiro. We love you for it, and absolutely nobody blames you for anything.”

That was it. Shiro didn’t cry, but he wrapped his arms around Matt and pulled him as close as he could, breathing raggedly as he pressed his forehead into Matt’s collarbone. Matt held him just as tightly, running one hand gently up and down the short fuzzy hairs on the back of Shiro’s head, murmuring quietly.

 _Forgiven._ Shiro never would have expected this. It felt better than he could ever have imagined. He had Matt back, and Matt still cared about him, still wanted him around. All he could have ever dreamed of was right here with him.

Shiro held his friend close, and breathed.


End file.
